Doctor Who: Heroes and Monsters Collection
Author: Various
Date: 2015-11-25 23:00:00+00:00
Keywords: Sample Book
Publisher: Penguin Random House Children's UK
Rights: All rights reserved.

Contents

1. The Stranger

2. The Hero Factor

3. Mission to Galacton

4. Stamp of Approval

5. The Final Darkness

6. No Fun at the Fair

7. Taking Mickey

8. Needlepoint

9. A Dog’s Life

10. The Secret of the Stones

11. The Planet That Wept

12. Disappearing Act

13. Once Upon a Time

14. Best Friends

15. Most Beautiful Music

16. Secret of Arkatron

17. Blind Terror

18. Amy’s Escapade

19. Rory’s Adventure

20. The Fifty-year Delay

21. Birth of a Legend

22. Lorna’s Escape

23. Going Off the Rails

24. Normality

25. When the Wolves Came

26. Buyer’s Remorse

The Stranger

‘Let me tell you a story …’

As Senior Tahl said this, he rocked back on to his bottom, settling down and waving for the kids to sit round him in a semicircle.

The other man barely gave them a glance. He was too busy staring out of the cavern, trying not to let the candlelight escape, by blocking the opening with his body, but still getting as good a view to the outside as he could.

Senior Tahl saw one of the children, Lessa, craning to see what the other man was doing. He drew Lessa’s attention back to himself with a clucking sound, like he was a mother hen attracting his chicks.

It would have been sweet, if the circumstances hadn’t been so desperate.

Just a short time earlier, the kids had all been at work, sorting out plasma cannon shells and staser bolt chargers in the factory. Rojan had been working at the munitions factory for a few months now – like all the other kids, it kept him safe during the day while his parents did whatever parents did in wartime. Rojan was old enough to understand the irony of working in a bomb factory while his parents were out doing their best to ensure no harm came to him.

The War Council had placed the munitions factories in a variety of secure locations around Gallifrey, places the Daleks were unlikely to find. And many hundreds of Gallifreyan children – some old enough to have looked into the Schism, some still waiting for the chance – were sent to work in these factories.

This wasn’t some kind of enforced child labour, such as that seen on the uncivilised worlds they had learned about at the Academy – back when the Academy was still open. This was a sensible war effort and a secure place to be; the children could be kept safe and, at the same time, help the adults of Gallifrey in the Great Time War.

Rojan understood the Time War – he had researched it during the early days, when no one had thought it would escalate. The incursion of Gallifrey into the Daleks’ genesis, the Etra Prime incident, the Hand of Omega detonating Skaro’s second sun – things like that. It always seemed to Rojan that maybe, just maybe, the Time Lord High Council had brought this war down upon themselves.

But, as the war went on, he had begun to understand that there was more to it than that. The Daleks were truly awful things; the universe needed safeguarding against them. One of Rojan’s House Uncles had told him about how the Daleks had attempted to go back in time and destroy Gallifrey before the Time Lords even existed, during the legendary era of the Great Vampires. Rojan was never entirely sure he believed in the Great Vampires – they sounded like a story to scare little kids with at night – but his House Uncle had been lost during the first wave of the Time War, so Rojan had never had a chance to ask further questions.

It was earlier that evening, just as the factory was closing, that the strange man had appeared at the door.

Senior Tahl had greeted him, and explained that the children would soon be heading up to the underground dorms inside the Mountain of Serenity; if the stranger wanted to see anyone in particular, the following morning would be better.

‘I’m not here about just one child,’ the man had barked. ‘Not a specific one – all of them.’

Senior Tahl had frowned and asked for clarification.

‘You have to get them to safety,’ the stranger had said. ‘The Daleks have worked out where the munitions factories are. They’re tunnelling through the planet to find them.’

Senior Tahl had almost laughed at the preposterous suggestion. ‘How could the Daleks do that? They would have to have landed on Gallifrey!’

The stranger had looked at him pointedly. ‘Do you know how many decades this war will last? How, very soon, years, decades, millennia will cease to have meaning? This is a Time War.’ He waved an arm around the factory. ‘The Daleks aren’t worried about a few stasers and cannons – they want the children.’

Senior Tahl had harrumphed loudly. ‘I don’t think, whoever you are, that it is fair that you scare the children so with these stories.’

Rojan recalled his mother once saying a similar thing to his House Uncle about the Great Vampires – but, unlike Daleks, the vampires didn’t exist. Probably.

Rojan had stepped forward then to stand next to Senior Tahl. ‘If the Daleks had landed, we would know.’

The strange man had turned to Rojan, who stared back at him. Rojan saw the man’s face clearly. Old, scarred, lined with years of hard work and… something else. Rojan had the feeling this wasn’t a man who found much joy in life. He had greying hair and a straggly beard, and was wearing a belt of ammunition round his dirty leather jacket. He looked like he had been living rough for a long time.

The man had sighed. ‘How long have you been fighting this war?’

Rojan had smiled. ‘Zero Point Seven One of the Segment.’

‘I meant you personally, boy. How long?’

‘I don’t fight. I work in this factory.’

The stranger had laughed and it turned into a cough. ‘I’ve been fighting all my lives. Fighting Daleks. I understand them. I know what makes them tick. Believe me, just as I know how long this war will last – because I understand how desperate each side is to win, and the lengths they will go to – I also know that Daleks have been on Gallifrey since Day One.’

Senior Tahl had given the stranger an odd look. ‘Who exactly are you, sir?’

The stranger had stared out from under hooded eyes, almost as if he didn’t want to hold Senior Tahl’s gaze for long. ‘I have no name. I abandoned it in the Fifth Segment of the war.’

Rojan had laughed. ‘Impossible. We’re decades away from the end of the First Segment, and the Time War certainly won’t last that long. They’re just robots.’

The stranger had frowned. ‘If you only understand one thing in life, boy, it should be this: Daleks are not robots. They are as far from being “just robots” as you can get. They are savage, incredibly intelligent, living, breathing creatures housed inside a war tank – and they see you as a threat to the future. If they kill you now, you can’t grow into Time Lords, or create new Time Lords to extend the fight. They have come back to this segment in time to destroy you before your own children are born!’

Senior Tahl had stood up to the stranger, his eyes blazing with fury. ‘How dare you say that in front of these children?’ he shouted. ‘How dare you scare them?’

‘Scare them? I’m warning them!’ The stranger tried to stare Senior Tahl down, but in the end he turned away. ‘Oh, what’s the use? In this segment of time, you have no real concept of fear, of war.’

Senior Tahl had grabbed the stranger by his jerkin. ‘I know who you are now,’ he hissed, so quietly that only the stranger and Rojan could hear. ‘This is not how you behave.’

‘War changes us all, Senior,’ the stranger said, and started to walk away.

‘Who is he?’ Rojan had asked Senior Tahl, but, before the Senior could respond, the screaming and yelling had started.

There was a terrible shriek of tearing metal as the floors and walls of the factory had begun to shred. Something was drilling through them – more than one something. Like giant screws, these somethings were twisting holes in the walls and floors as they smashed their way inside.

The children ran in frightened circles, and Senior Tahl tried to gather them up.

A second or two later, the giant screw-things had withdrawn and Daleks flew in through the holes. The Daleks were riding single hover-bouts, little hovering circular platforms that Rojan had heard of but never seen. He knew the hover-bouts had weaponry in the base that was even more devastating than a normal Dalek’s body-mounted blaster.

The Daleks had opened fire, blasting at the weapons crates, covering them in green-and-red flame and destroying the factory’s work.

Rojan saw two children younger than him run towards the Senior in search of protection. They were brother and sister, but Rojan didn’t know their names – why had he never even learned their names?

Senior Tahl had simply stood still. He seemed to be in shock. Rojan had run over to him, and tried to push him to safety just as another Dalek blast hit the ground – or perhaps it hit the Senior’s leg, because the man went flying into Rojan, knocking him over and lying motionless on top of him.

Rojan had struggled to get out from under the Senior, to rouse the old man, but to no avail. He watched the stranger rush over to a door, and usher the children through it. Rojan knew the door opened on to the stairs that climbed to the dorms, and to the bridge that led to the ship port where parents lassoed their skimmers and flyers to the access docks when they visited. What the stranger didn’t know was that the long metal bridge that connected the side of the Mountain of Serenity with the skimmer port was down. He was leading the children to a place from which there was no escape.

‘No, don’t –’ Senior Tahl had tried to call out, but he was badly hurt and his voice was barely a gasp. The Senior grabbed Rojan’s hand. ‘Go, Rojan. Go with them. Protect them all!’

His words had given Rojan a burst of energy. Despite the Senior’s protests, he had hauled the old man up and half dragged, half carried him to the door. The Daleks were too busy destroying the weapons and munitions to notice, Rojan had reckoned.

He had reckoned wrongly.

‘Exterminate the prisoners,’ one Dalek screeched and, as he and the Senior reached the door, Rojan felt the radiated heat of the blast skim past them. He rolled backwards, tipping the Senior into the far side of the corridor, then slammed the door shut behind them.

Senior Tahl had started to hobble up the stairs, but the stranger appeared and pushed past him on his way down. ‘The bridge is out,’ he reported.

‘We know,’ Rojan had said harshly. ‘The Senior tried to tell you, but you wouldn’t listen.’

The stranger had looked at Rojan, but said nothing. Instead he pulled a sonic device from his pocket and sealed the door. ‘This won’t hold them for long,’ he murmured.

Rojan had shaken his head in bewilderment. ‘The Daleks have destroyed the factory and everything in it – surely they’ll go now.’

‘You heard what I said to Tahl,’ the stranger had snapped. ‘They want to kill all of you. My job is to stop that from happening.’

Rojan turned then, and ran to the steps. He had helped Senior Tahl up the staircase, bringing him to where the children were hiding in a small, darkened cavern in the mountain. Normally, the route past this opening would have led to safety, if the bridge weren’t awaiting repair. When the Senior and Rojan had squeezed through the small opening, they saw all the kids huddled in terror, hugging one another.

‘The Daleks aren’t following us,’ Rojan had reported.

At that moment, the stranger had walked into the cavern behind them and looked around at the children. ‘We need time to come up with a plan. Keep their minds off the Daleks,’ he said quietly, so only the Senior and Rojan could hear. Then he had thrown something at Rojan. ‘Catch, boy.’

Rojan realised it was a primitive candle. ‘Won’t the Daleks see it?’ he asked.

‘Not if you all go further into the cavern.’

‘But it’s dark.’

‘Hence the candle.’

Rojan couldn’t argue with that.

‘Besides, I’ll stay by the entrance. It’s not too large. I’ll be able to block the light just by standing in the way.’

Senior Tahl had taken a deep breath and, although his leg was evidently hurting, he had sat down, motioning the children closer to him.

And it was at this point that he had begun to tell his story.

It was the story of a Time Lord who was very brave, very heroic and very, very clever. This Time Lord, so legend tells, got bored of being just a Time Lord and he left Gallifrey to explore, to see the universe.

‘But that’s forbidden,’ said Lessa, who had been briefly distracted by the stranger at the cavern’s opening.

‘Ah,’ Senior Tahl said, ‘but this was the Time Lord who called himself the Doctor, and he didn’t care about rules or regulations. He only cared about the universe, about finding the oppressed and lost, the enslaved and victimised, and making their lives better. For centuries, all across time and space, he fought for good and defeated evil, triumphing time and time again.’

‘Did he ever come home?’

‘Oh, there are stories that say he visited once or twice, usually to help the Time Lords when they were in some danger themselves – from Daleks, or Sontarans, or giant space chickens.’

A couple of the children laughed, and Rojan realised what a good thing that was. Their minds were being taken off the monsters that were back in the factory.

‘Where is this Doctor now?’ Rojan asked. ‘Why isn’t he here, fighting the Time War?’

‘That’s a good question,’ the Senior said, and Rojan could have sworn he threw a quick look at the stranger. ‘I’ll tell you what I believe. I believe the Doctor is here somewhere, only he’s regenerated so many times now no one knows what he looks like – not even the Daleks. So he uses that fact to hide in plain sight. I’m sure he is doing everything he can to save the children of Gallifrey. So when you go to bed tonight, and every night, I want you to remember that the Doctor is out there. If you’re scared before you go to sleep, just think of him and his bravery.’

The stranger walked over. ‘We can’t stay here,’ he whispered to the Senior and Rojan. ‘The Daleks are cutting through that door.’

‘There is nowhere else,’ the Senior said. ‘Without the bridge …’

‘We should find a way to mend it,’ Rojan said, and he started to head out of the cavern, towards the bridge. The stranger went with him.

A few seconds later they were at the broken bridge. ‘It’s only a metre or two,’ Rojan said. ‘We could all jump that.’

‘You might,’ the stranger said. ‘As would some of the other older kids – but the younger ones? And Tahl with his injured leg? And that’s assuming everyone is as brave as you.’

‘What makes you think I’m brave, Doctor?’

‘Because you suggested it,’ he said, then stopped. ‘I’m not the Doctor. Don’t let the Senior fill your head with nonsense.’

‘It’s not nonsense,’ Rojan said. ‘He knows you’re the Doctor and now so do I, Doctor.’

The stranger, or Doctor, shook his head. ‘I don’t have a name, and if I did it certainly wouldn’t be Doctor. I called myself Warrior once, but I’m not sure even that’s appropriate these days.’ He laughed at his time-pun. ‘These days, indeed …’

Rojan suddenly grabbed the stranger’s arm. ‘Look! They store coils of cabling over there! It’s to tether the skimmers when they land.’

‘Why is that important?’

‘We could use it – tie a short length to the beams above, and people could swing over.’

Rojan stepped back and, before the stranger could say anything, jumped the broken bridge. He ran to where he knew the cabling was kept, grabbed some and headed back.

The stranger was waiting for him. ‘Good boy,’ he said. ‘Tie it to… to that strut there. That looks strongest.’ Rojan did as he was told, then the stranger made him toss the cable back over and tied it to the strongest end of the bridge on his side. ‘Wait there,’ he told Rojan, then he darted back into the cavern, emerging seconds later with the kids, who were in various states of fear and nervousness.

The stranger turned to a couple who were about Rojan’s age. ‘I need you to go first,’ he said. ‘To show the others it is safe and secure and, above all, easy.’

‘Is it safe?’ one said.

‘Or easy?’ said the other.

‘No idea,’ the stranger said. ‘Come on – there’s no time to waste.’

By now Senior Tahl had also emerged, and was looking warily down the steps towards the Daleks.

One by one, the children jumped, or used the cabling to haul themselves across the bridge. As Rojan was joined by more and more of them, the encouragement of those who had already jumped made the stragglers braver.

Finally only one little boy stood, waiting with the stranger to go over.

‘I can’t do it,’ he wailed.

‘What’s your name?’ the stranger asked.

‘Gahnna.’

‘Well, Gahnna, Rojan and all the others did it.’

‘I’m scared.’

‘Yes, I know,’ he replied. ‘And being scared is good. It’s brilliant in fact, because it pushes you to do things you wouldn’t normally do.’

‘I can’t!’ Gahnna repeated.

‘Yes, you can,’ the stranger said. ‘Trust me.’

‘Why?’

The stranger looked up, caught Rojan’s eye and smiled.

‘Trust me because I’m, well, I’m sort of a doctor.’

Gahnna took a deep breath. Then he grabbed quickly at the cabling and swung over the gap to where Rojan and the others caught him.

‘Go!’ the stranger shouted across at the children. ‘Get to the safety of the skimmer ports. Remember, the Daleks can’t get across the bridge.’

‘What about you?’ Rojan yelled.

‘I’m bringing the Senior,’ the stranger yelled, running to the top of the stairs. Just as he reached them, there was a loud crash.

The stranger looked back to the bridge. ‘Go!’

All the children ran – all except Rojan, who was reluctant to leave without the stranger and the Senior.

The stranger ran down the steps to the Senior. ‘Come on, Tahl,’ Rojan heard him cry.

Rojan couldn’t see or hear Senior Tahl’s reply, but when the stranger re-emerged alone Rojan knew something was wrong.

‘Where is he?’ Rojan yelled.

‘I don’t know,’ the stranger replied, puffing and panting. He grabbed at the cabling and hauled himself across.

A moment later the Senior appeared at the top of the steps. He was hobbling badly, and carrying a box. Rojan realised the Daleks must have broken through and be on their way. Instead of heading for the bridge, Senior Tahl sat down at the top of the stairs and yanked open the box he was carrying.

‘No, Tahl!’ the stranger shouted.

‘Are all the children safe?’ the Senior called back.

‘Yes,’ Rojan replied, not really understanding why the Senior had sat down. ‘Come on, Senior.’

Senior Tahl looked back at him sadly. ‘Look after them, Rojan. And, Doctor?’

The stranger, the Warrior, the Doctor – whoever he was – replied. ‘Yes?’

‘You have saved us all so many times in the past, and no doubt in the future, but this is the stand I must make, here and now, to safeguard the children entrusted to my care.’

Rojan watched as two Daleks rose to the top of the stairs.

Senior Tahl slammed his hands into the box and an almighty explosion rocked the cavern. The stranger pulled Rojan back as what remained of the bridge dropped away, caught in the concussive wave of the blast.

As the dust slowly cleared, the only thing Rojan could see where the Daleks and Senior Tahl had been was a pile of rubble. The Daleks were destroyed or entombed, and Senior Tahl lay with them.

Gently, the stranger took Rojan’s hand and led him away from the carnage.

‘War,’ he said quietly, ‘makes heroes out of many people, no matter how unlikely.’ He looked Rojan in the eye. ‘It’s your turn now. It’s your job to get these children home safely.’

‘How can they be safe at home? The whole point of us being here was to keep them safe from the Daleks!’

‘Well, now that the Daleks know why the children are in factories like this all over Gallifrey they’ll attack them easily because they are remote. The cities will be safer.’

‘And you?’

The stranger smiled. ‘I have work to do. Maybe we’ll meet again one day.’

Rojan could see the other children now, safe and secure.

And to one side of the skimmer port was a strange blue box that he’d never noticed before. The stranger walked up to it and pushed open a door in the side.

Rojan called out. ‘Goodbye, Doctor. And thank you.’

The battle-weary old man said nothing, but managed a wan smile. And a second later, he and his blue box faded from view.

Rojan looked at his new charges. ‘Right then,’ he said. ‘Let’s get you all home to safety.’

And in his young heart Rojan knew that, like Senior Tahl before him, this would always be his story about the Doctor. A story he would tell time and time again, to inspire a new generation of Time Lord children, for all the days to come.

The Hero Factor

‘Told you so!’ The Doctor drained his cup of tea and turned to Rose on the sunlounger beside him. ‘If you want the best cuppa in the known universe – and at least half of the unknown universe, for that matter – come to the Warp Hotel on Askenflatt Minor.’

‘It’s a good place to top up your tan, too,’ Rose agreed, wriggling her bare toes as she gazed about the quiet hotel terrace. ‘Four suns in the sky and an everlasting summer! I could live here. Let’s get a holiday home.’

He peered at her over the top of his sunglasses. ‘You haven’t seen Askenflatt Major, yet. The sea’s like warm custard and you can ride these funny red dolphin things… Mind you, the tea’s not quite as good. The coffee’s actually better, but not the tea. I like the tea here.’

Rose sighed happily. ‘Better stay here a while then.’

‘Yup!’ the Doctor agreed. ‘Waiter! Another pot of tea, please, quick as you like …’

Suddenly a gaggle of strange creatures with microphones and TV cameras came rushing up to surround them.

‘Blimey, that was quick!’ said the Doctor, staring around in alarm. ‘Think you forgot the milk and sugar though. And the tea.’

‘Leave it out!’ Rose recoiled as a camera was shoved in her face. ‘Doctor, I think they’re reporters!’

‘Miss Tyler,’ said a strange tusked creature. ‘Can you tell us what it’s like to travel with the future Champion of Askenflatt?’

Rose frowned. ‘Who’s that, then?’

‘Why, the Doctor, of course!’ roared a skinny red thing, nudging the tusked reporter aside. ‘The man who will lay down his life to defend the people of Askenflatt from the dreaded Hasval the Destroyer!’

‘Lay down my life? I’m lying down on a sunlounger! Or rather, I was.’ The Doctor jumped up crossly and tried to shoo the reporters back a bit. ‘The dreaded who? What are you lot on about?’

A deep-blue alien that was half man, half octopus slapped a friendly tentacle about his shoulders. ‘Come with us, Future Champion of Askenflatt,’ it said. ‘The Solar News Show is about to begin, and Jazami Paxxo has chosen you to be his special guest!’

‘Yeah?’ the Doctor brightened a bit. ‘He’s the most famous interviewer in the known universe. And at least half the unknown –’

‘Doctor!’ cried Rose. A blue glow was enveloping both the Doctor and the octo-man. ‘What’s happening?’

The octo-man gently took her hand with another tentacle. ‘Just a quick interview, Miss Tyler …’ And suddenly the blue glow was sucking her in too. The sunny hotel terrace faded away, and Rose felt herself travelling through space…

Then everything went very, very dark.

The next thing the Doctor knew, a spotlight was shining in his face and loud, dramatic music was playing. ‘Welcome to The Solar News Show,’ boomed a deep, serious voice. ‘Tonight, as Hasval the Destroyer advances on the defenceless Askenflatt system, Jazami Paxxo talks to the planets’ only hope – the Doctor!’

Suddenly a wave of applause burst out. The light swung away from the Doctor’s eyes and he saw he was in a huge TV studio in front of a huge audience, all dressed in black with 4-D view-spex. Six cameras were trained on him like giant guns. And beside him at a sleek news desk sat a tall grey humanoid with three small ears and an enormous mouth – Jazami Paxxo.

‘Welcome, Doctor,’ growled Paxxo. ‘Tonight we shall judge if you are worthy of being Askenflatt’s champion.’

The Doctor was baffled. ‘Come again?’

‘What makes you think you’re qualified for the job?’

‘I’m qualified for just about everything,’ the Doctor replied, ‘only I don’t know what you’re on about! Where’s Rose? We were having a nice little tea break. When did I ever apply to be a champion?’

‘Your friend will be joining us shortly,’ said Paxxo. ‘Now, you have a reputation for meddling in the affairs of other worlds, correct?’

‘Uh-huh,’ the Doctor agreed. ‘I could win a medal for meddling.’

‘You have fought evil aliens and power-mad dictators on countless planets. How much do you charge for your services?’

‘What?’ The Doctor stared at him in amazement. ‘I’m not for hire! If innocent people are in danger, if bullying beings are trying it on, well, someone’s got to sort it, haven’t they? Might as well be me.’ He grinned suddenly. ‘I’m pretty good at it after all these centuries!’

‘I understand you are over 900 years old,’ said Paxxo. ‘Aren’t you a bit old for saving worlds?’

‘I’m in my prime!’ The Doctor pulled a banana from his pocket. ‘And I’m a deadly aim, so don’t get cheeky.’

‘What weapons do you use?’ Paxxo demanded.

‘I don’t, if I can help it.’

‘You just said you were a deadly aim!’

The Doctor rolled his eyes. ‘Yeah – with this banana or a kiwi fruit or a satsuma or something!’ He started to peel the banana. ‘Bit of imagination and a soft fruit can always save the day.’

Paxxo watched the Doctor stonily. ‘Hasval’s forces are gathering, ready to strike. He will use these worlds as a power base from which to conquer a hundred more!’

The Doctor jumped up. ‘So why are you wasting my time? If the people of Askenflatt need my help, well then – they’ve got it.’

Paxxo smiled. ‘Thank you, Doctor. That’s all I wanted to know.’

Suddenly the studio audience vanished, and so did the set. The Doctor realised he was actually in a dark, dank spaceship, lit eerily with a green glow. The TV cameras were no longer cameras – they were robotic cannons. And Jazami Paxxo had disappeared. In his place stood the same blue octopus-creature who had brought the Doctor here.

‘This is all a wind-up, isn’t it?’ said the Doctor gravely. ‘An intergalactic You’ve Been Framed!’

The octopus-creature smiled and waggled a small computer in the Doctor’s face. ‘My hologram generator fooled you completely. There were no reporters, no TV show. But the forces of Hasval the Destroyer are real enough. And I should know – ‘ the octo-man reared up, baring rows of sharp teeth, ‘ – I am Hasval the Destroyer!’

‘What d’you want me to do, ask for your autograph?’ The Doctor calmly took a bite of the banana. ‘Now, what have you done with Rose?’

Hasval scowled. ‘My troops were in position, ready to conquer Askenflatt, when one of my spies noticed you were here – the unstoppable, indestructible Doctor! Hero of the innocent and thwarter of a thousand invasions! Did you know of my plans? Would you stand against me? I had to find out!’

‘You’re meant to be a destroyer,’ the Doctor said coldly. ‘Wouldn’t it have been easier to destroy me?’

‘You, the Lord of Time? You, who have survived a thousand wars? You, of whom it is said even the Daleks live in fear?’

‘Me,’ agreed the Doctor, ‘who can eat ten sugary doughnuts in a row without even licking my lips.’

‘I would have waited until you had left Askenflatt, then invaded, but your friend suggested you could live here. I had to act!’ Hasval’s eyes narrowed. ‘But, having spoken to you, I now know that you are an overrated buffoon. Your friend is scarier than you – and she’s locked up!’

Hasval waved a tentacle and a light came on to reveal Rose, trapped behind bars in a cell built into the wall. ‘Think I prefer the Warp Hotel,’ she shouted to the Doctor.

‘Never mind,’ he called back. ‘Have half a banana.’

‘Wow, thanks,’ said Rose as she caught it.

‘Enough clowning, Doctor,’ rasped Hasval. ‘It is time you died!’

‘You invader types, you think you’re so clever,’ the Doctor retorted, ‘but I always beat you. And you know why? Because you always slip up.’

With that, the Doctor gave Hasval a hearty shove. The octopoid invader staggered back and slipped on the banana skin Rose had thrown just behind him. With a cry of rage, he landed flat on his back and the Doctor kicked the hologram generator from his grasp.

One of the robotic cannons trundled towards the Doctor and took aim. ‘Down, Rose!’ he yelled, and dived aside. A bolt of power spat from the cannon, missing him by millimetres – and burned a huge hole in the bars of Rose’s cell. The Doctor jumped back up and wrestled with the cannon and spun it round just as it blasted again so it blew one of the other cannons to pieces.

But by now Hasval had flipped himself back to his feet, trembling with rage, his tentacles tearing the air about him. He grabbed hold of the Doctor, lifted him off his feet and hurled him against the metal floor.

‘You pathetic little creature!’ Hasval roared, as his robotic cannons advanced on the Doctor. ‘Did you really think that I, Hasval the Destroyer, could be defeated by a banana?’

‘Well …’ The Doctor gave a crooked smile. ‘With a bit of imagination.’

And suddenly, to Hasval’s horror, there were two Doctors lying in front of him. A moment later, six of them were getting to their feet. Then twenty. Soon, fifty were standing there, eyes wide and dangerous, smiling at him insolently.

‘This is how I am more than a match for pathetic, wannabe invaders like you, Hasval!’ he bellowed, and suddenly there were well over a hundred Doctors, all speaking as one. ‘Now, leave this sector of space and renounce your ways of war!’

Hasval gulped. ‘And if I don’t?’

The Doctor’s eyes flashed – all 250 of them. ‘You really don’t want to know …’

‘The stories were right!’ wailed Hasval. ‘You are unstoppable!’ With that, he threw open a heavy door and ran from the room, his robotic cannons trundling after him. ‘Navigator!’ he shouted as he ran for his life. ‘Turn this ship around. We’re going home! Disband the fleet! Move it!’

The Doctors watched him go. Then they all threw back their heads and laughed – before vanishing as Rose turned off the hologram projector. Suddenly there was only one Doctor standing in the eerie green room – the Doctor.

‘Well, when I turned on the stupid thing I didn’t think that would happen!’ Rose admitted. ‘Er… what did happen?’

‘Remember the TV audience?’ The Doctor tapped his nose. ‘They all looked identical because Hasval simply took an image of one person and used the hologram generator to duplicate it over and over. The generator must still have been on that setting when you activated it and waved it in my direction.’

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